Hypomnesia
by Saitaina R. Moricia
Summary: When everything you know is gone, and you've started over again...what do you do, when the past comes back to scream at you? Kaitou Kid  Saguru Hakuba centric


**Hypomnesia**

"_Though no one can go back and make a brand new start, anyone can start from now and make a brand new ending." - Carl Bard_

Names...a word given to someone so that you knew what to call them, to give them an identity...to classify them.

Most names are given to us at birth, others later by friends and classmates, and then there are some we take on even later in life, for work or even...just to change who we are.

Because everyone needs a name, a moniker...an identity.

Well, almost everyone. I haven't had a name in over ten years. I used to, I think. There's something curling at the farthest reaches of my mind, something I was once called. But that time is long past and I have long since lost that name, whatever it may have been.

I try on new ones now, testing them out, seeing how they flow, bend and turn with each person who calls them, but none never fit. Each night I hang back up my name along with the face I wore that day and walk away, starting a new search when the dawn breaks over the trees.

It's a special night tonight, it's the night when they call to me, screaming their name for me into the moonlit sky. I feel...something, when I hear their name. It's not mine, it's too cold, too full of bitterness and grief, but it plucks at my chest, making me smile just a little more as they scream for me.

Or are they screaming for the person they think I am?

But I'm digressing. Honestly, it's been ten years, you would think I would have gotten over the whole name and identity thing. I would introduce myself, but as I've stated, I am nameless. For now, you can call me Shadow, for that is what I am, a shadow, slipping along through life, waiting for a light.

Ten years ago, though sometimes it seems much shorter, I woke up in a cold, white room, with little tubes traveling in and out of my body. It was quite an experience, I assure you. It was worse of course, as I didn't know about the tubes and cold white room and all the things I should have known.

After the initial panic attack that left me rather tangled in those tubes, I discovered, by means of interrogating the poor volunteer who had come in to check on me, that I had been in an accident of some sort. No one was quite sure on the details, I had apparently been found on the side of the road half dead, though apparently firearms were some how involved as I had bullet wounds to my chest and abdomen.

But that...that was all they knew, all I know. You see, beyond that point, my life is a giant blank slate of nothingness. I have no memories of my past, of love or hate, no memories of my parents (assuming I had any), no memories...of anything.

My life truly starts, waking up in that dreary hospital room.

I can't say it's been a bad life, I have a job at the hospital (we discovered I had a talent for magic tricks my second day there), I have a reasonably nice hole in the wall the landlord calls an apartment...and I have his name.

I can't remember how it started, one thing to another, bit by bit, until I stole away from the hospital one night, a migraine attempting to split my skull in half as I dashed up the dark streets. There was something...an urge, forcing me forward. Parts of that night are still hazy, flashes of roof tops and chimney stacks, birds flocking past me, almost wishing me on, and a small little hide hole, carved into the side of a building, barely hidden by some loose bricks. I found his clothing inside, neatly folded, waiting.

I have no idea why I put them on, the cool cotton sliding against my bruised body, cold metal soothing a wound on my cheek as it rested oh so lightly on the tender flesh. There was a fluttering piece of paper, almost swept away by the wind, left behind after I was dressed. Reading it, it seemed almost to call to me, imbuing it's purpose in my soul.

I knew about Kaitou Kid, of course. One couldn't live surrounded by giggling, gossiping teen girls without hearing at least the slightest bit of the Phantom Thief and the (to quote Noriko) 'drop dead gorgeous hunk of British man flesh' that followed him on his escapades.

But what I didn't know, is why I knew where his (or one of his) costumes was hidden, why the post dated heist note rested so comfortably in my hand...why I knew, even after barely reading, what the note referred to.

But that didn't matter. What did matter was that such events occurred and I needed to know more. Something inside me screamed to know more about the white clad thief and I was never one to ignore my body's wishes.

So I went, once more stealing away in the night, dodging security and my own gaggle of annoying fans, just barely arriving in time for the heist. But...he never showed. Nor the next one, or the one after.

It wasn't until the fourth heist, when I was already out of the hospital, that he appeared. Only...it wasn't him. It wasn't the limber, talented thief everyone had spoke of. This was some old man, dressing in someone else's clothes, trying his best but failing miserably to be like Kid.

I was disgusted and some what ashamed. What was this old man doing? He should have been at home, watching the news or sipping tea in bed, not cavorting about on rooftops, nearly killing himself as he attempted to dodge the police.

There was no fifth heist, though, there was however, a first.

The first time I crafted a note, full of twisting riddles and mind numbing puzzles. The first time I slipped into those white pants and jacket, the silk cape sliding easily around my shoulders as if it meant to be. The first moment I covered my left eye with a piece of glass and metal, deeming it a disguise. The first time I stepped into the night, and felt it embrace me, raising me up above any mere mortal's dreams and into the stars.

The first time I became, Kaitou Kid.

It was...the most incredible rush I had ever felt. Better then any drug, better then sex with the flirtatious Yasu. This...this was snowboarding down Mount Everest naked on your stomach, while drinking the richest pure hot chocolate and getting a blow job from Ayumi Hamasaki at the same time.

The wind, the lights, the crowds, the chase, the gems locked in ridiculously easy displays and safes...all of it...it was perfection. A game for the bored, a chase to beat out any race, a show to the highest order.

I can't explain what propelled me, what part of my brain decided it would be alright to pick up a possibly dead man's shield and carry on the fight. I just know it had to be done, that there had to be a laughing, dancing magician flying through the night to keep the world in balance.

Some nights I wonder if I'm truly insane.

After that first night, I learned all I could about Kid. His habits, his targets, every past heist. There was a pattern, the thief was searching for something, what I had no idea. There was a disturbing trend of shadows (not like myself, for I could never be them), taking shots at the thief on certain heists.

And then there was the other element that caused concern. Hakuba Saguru, the teenage detective who had come far too close for his comfort. Every report he read, ever video he watched, the blond was there, right on Kid's heels, so close...too close.

I would have to be wary of that one, I couldn't let him come that close to me. I don't know what game Kid was playing, but dancing with an opponent of Hakuba's caliber was dangerous, deadly. I would have to take steps to insure that never happened, that he never got close to me, not only for my own safety, but his. Anyone that close to me, was another target for the snipers.

And let me tell you, that was a bitch and a half to pull off. Nothing in my life has been more annoying then that blond. He's always two steps behind me, forcing me further, faster to keep ahead. Thankfully though, those two steps have so far been enough. He's never come as close as he did to my predecessor and he's been kept out of the line of fire.

And as much as he drives me to absolute insanity...I can honestly say, there's no better heist then when he's chasing after the end of my cape.

"Put your hands on the back of your head!"

"Speak of the devil," the man known as 'Kid' muttered, cursing in his head as he raised his arms, turning to look at the detective behind him, focusing on the gun pointing at him.

Saguru looked over the sight of his gun, staring into the sharp blue eyes that he hadn't dreamed of seeing in all these years. His breath caught, weapon wavering with his emotions. "Kaito," he breathed, naming the thief in front of him for the first time in ten years.

Kid jerked, mouth dropping open, ears ringing at the name. He could feel it inside him, ringing out with sheer rightness. His name...his identity...his...everything. "That has yet to be proven, Tantei-san." He turned back to facing the edge of the rooftop, shifting his shoulders just slightly, loosening a gas canister.

"Freeze!" Saguru yelled, noticing the movements of the thief's shoulders, finger tightening on the trigger. "I can't believe you! I searched for years, hoping you weren't dead and you just play it off like it's a game?!"

"What do you want from me, Tantei-san? I know no more of this...Kaito then I would the private life of his highness the Emperor."

"What do I want?! I want to know where you've been, I want to know what the HELL is going on. I'm tired, Kaito. I'm tired of waiting, I'm tired of the long night watching the front walk, I'm...tired."

"Tantei-"

"SHUT UP!" Saguru roared and Kid jumped, startled, turning to stare at Saguru, eyes wide. That wasn't the stuck up, snob of a detective he was used to.

"Just...shut up," Saguru growled, gun twitching in his hand. "I don't want to hear any lies, I don't want to hear any pretty stories or denials! I WAITED, Kaito. I stood by that window every night, for ten fucking YEARS, waiting for you. I..." Saguru made a noise like a strangled scream and threw his gun as hard as he could, almost wishing he could throw the thief. "Why?" he whispered, raising his head, tear stains glittering on his cheeks in the faint light. "Why? Why didn't you come home, why didn't you let us know...why did I wait?"

"Tan...Hakuba-san," Kid whispered, feeling torn, unsure what to do or say, frightened of the emotions in the blond's eyes.

"I waited and waited and still...you never came, you never called, you never did anything and still...I can't stop waiting."

This was perhaps the stupidest thing he'd ever done. "Ten years ago..." Kid murmured. "Ten years ago, I woke up in a hospital with a gunshot wound, and an irresistible interest in the famous Kaitou Kid. That's all I've known."

Saguru stared, mind running in endless, rambling circles. Ten years ago...eighteen years lost. It was all gone. All the jokes, all the pranks, all the arguments, all the...everything. Everything they had ever been to each other, enemies, associates, friends...lovers. It was all...gone.

He wanted to curl up in a ball and sob like a baby.

"You...don't know...anything." Saguru whispered, broken. All that time...wasted.

"I...I'm sorry?" Kid offered, lowering one of his arms to reach out to Saguru.

Saguru raised a trembling hand, resting it against his face in a weak attempt to hide his emotions. He heard Kid shifting and honestly couldn't care if the thief was using the moment to escape. It was all gone now, nothing mattered.

Warm arms wrapped around him, strands of hair brushing his cheek as he rested his forehead on Kid's shoulder. He was still for a moment, allowing Kid to hold him before he returned the embrace, arms reaching around Kid's body, holding him weakly as he cried softly.

When Saguru's arms wrapped around him, there had been another jolt in Kid's chest, a small piece of recognition. This...this felt right, righter then he had ever felt. He belonged here, wrapped in the detective's embrace. It was better then any other caress, the feeling of perfection, of care, of being the most precious object in the world.

"Well... it feels right. That's something, at least. Isn't it... Saguru?"

Saguru's body stiffened for a moment, hearing his name drop so easily from those lips, so familiar, even after only hearing it in his dreams.

"Something..." Saguru said, pulling away in order to reach up, brushing the backs of his fingers over Kid's cheek. "I..." he trailed off, not sure what to say.

"Come on, I'm hungry, the chase is done and hospital food sucks." Kid said, taking Saguru's hand and giving it a tug.

Saguru smiled, following the white clad thief from the rooftop, feeling eager to see the sunrise for the first time in a decade. It wouldn't be easy, there would be bumps and turns in the road that neither were expecting, but...in the end, it would be worth it. No, this wasn't the man he knew, but then again, he wasn't the Saguru of that time either. It was a new path, a new journey, and he was ready to take it.

_Finis_


End file.
